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When you walk passed me in the street, you look down
or away,
I feel like some thing that has been used and then discarded,
Nothing to do with me, you think,
That’s my feeling anyway.
Don’t flatter yourselves you are not the only
ones,
I’ve been ignored and abused for as long as I
can remember.
My parents? I have none,
Well! I was born; I did have a mother, though I wouldn’t
call her that,
Because the word means, I think, someone who cares,
She didn’t, she let him do it, and he was my father!
Maybe she didn’t know,
if she did she would have stopped him.
She just sat there, let him take me upstairs.
She must have heard something, or seen the bruises,
but she just sat there.
I’m too old now, I fought back,
so I just sit, used, abused and discarded.
It’s my sisters turn and I can do nothing about
it,
she is getting the attention now,
in a way I am jealous,
yet...,
I just cry the tears for her and me.
Nobody notices me now.
I’ve got a black eye,
You didn’t notice,
My boyfriend did it, because I got it wrong,
Just like my ‘mum’, she always got it wrong,
It was always her fault,
So ‘dad’ had to punish her.
See, I knew it was my fault,
so now I just sit here.
It’s my birthday tomorrow,
I’ll be fourteen,
Are you going to wish me a happy birthday?
I thought not.
My head is down,
so you cannot read my eyes,
and I cannot speak.
If I were to speak, it would be a betrayal of my needs.
In silence I am safe, my emotions kept inside.
Those threats, those secrets that I may never tell,
Remain locked up and painful,
Like a cancer, eating away my living flesh.
Who would want to know anyway?
I am worthless and useless, everybody says.
I thank you for listening,
I know you didn’t hear me,
You are too busy, I know
to waste your time on me.
In my silence I have spoken volumes to you,
next time maybe,
will you listen?
Until then,
I’ll just sit here.
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